Thursday, December 20, 2012

Doomsday 2012

Well, I hear tomorrow is it.  We're all doomed.  The planets will align, and life will cease to exist on this earth.

And I know for a fact that this is true.  Want to know how I know this?  Allow me to take a few seconds of your precious time (we have a very limited amount left) to explain why tomorrow will be the end of the world as we know it.

Today, I had an appointment with my optometrist.  My vision has been incredibly blurry, especially at night.  So blurry that I cannot read license plates, speed limit signs, or road signs.  I decided I needed to do something about this, so I made an appointment and off I go.

When I go, the nice lady doctor examines my eyes, proceeds with some spiel about how my prescription hasn't actually changed, and then asks if I look at a computer or a book all day long for my job.

Why no, I do not.

I do not have a job.

But if you are asking if I ever look at a computer to study, that would be a positive.  And when I'm not looking at a computer, I'm reading.  And when I'm not reading, I'm sleeping.

Unless I'm on break.  I haven't looked at a computer much on break.  Checked my grades and email a couple of times, but that's about it.  Instead, I have been reading books for FUN.  What a novel word.

Anyway, as I was saying, the pretty doctor lady tells me something about how my eyes are spasming, blah blah blah (at this point, I'm thinking, "Yeah, I can just put down the computer and slowly walk away...  Not. I have to study, here, lady.).  Then, she says, "I don't think we need to change your prescription.  I think you need reading glasses."

...

Come again?

...

Reading glasses?!?!?

...

Probably the look I gave her

Yes, folks.  That's right.  READING GLASSES.  I am officially 90, and it's my time to go.  The world will end tomorrow.

That's not even all, though.

I went to my mom's work (I had to drop off a Christmas present for little miss Sophia that I had picked up in Knoxville).

Cutest thing EVER
When I stopped by, I told her the news...  I had to get reading glasses before she did.  Pitiful.

So then my oh-so-sweet-and-supportive mom (she really is) asks me if I'll need a chain to hook to my reading glasses so they can hang around my neck and I won't lose them.

My role model right now
All I need is to cut my hair off and drape a sweater across my shoulders.  Perfect.

Then my husband calls when he gets off works.  I tell him the news.  He asks if I want him to bring home some prunes and warm milk.

So tomorrow, when the world ends, don't say I didn't warn you.  Wisdom comes with age, and since I'm about a hundred, I would know.