The Break Up

I hate to disappoint everyone, but this post has been a long time coming...

We have officially split.  Broken up.  Dunzo.  Kaput.

That's right, folks, you heard it here.  We are over.  I have ended my relationship with pizza.  And ice cream.  I'm done with both of those jerks, and I hope I don't ever see them ever again.

Let me tell you what happened...

Approximately two years ago (around July 13), I got married to this wonderful man named John.  I had been working out, watching what I ate, etc., etc., so on and so forth.

Then we went on an all-inclusive, amazing, beautiful, super-duper honeymoon to Sandals.  And yes, it was that beautiful.


So on said honeymoon, I ate.  And ate.  And ate and ate and ate.  I ate a lot.


So we get back home, and I continue to eat.  And eat and eat and eat.  I love pizza.  And ice cream.  So I ate a LOT of pizza and ice cream.

Not an actual picture of me, but close enough...

And then, it happened...  One of them got me pregnant.  Not pregnant with a human baby, mind you.  Pregnant with a food baby.  I really don't know how it happened.  John says I need to go on Maury.  But all of a sudden, I had put on a lot of weight, and my pants didn't fit.


So last night after I finished off my carton of Moose Tracks only to be followed by dinner of cheesy bread from Dominos, I decided to call it quits with both of them.


Even though I'm not sure who the father of this food baby is, I know one thing: I'm done with them both!


So from now on, if you see me out with pizza or ice cream, come smack me!  Don't let me cheat on my one true love (the clothes in my closet that are going to fit again) with either of those fools.


Thanks in advance for all your understanding and support.  This break up will be hard, but I know I can do it!!!

The Case of the Half-Eaten Dinner

Today's post is a special post.  It is a mystery story about...

The Case of the Half-Eaten Dinner

It was a dark, dreary night.  I had walked to the upstairs refrigerator at school to retrieve my supper and warm it up.  The upstairs was empty.  And quiet.  Perhaps too quiet...

All four plastic containers were still inside my plastic bag, but only one still had food.  I reached in for the container that still had food and opened the lid to place it in the microwave when suddenly...

I noticed that half of the food was (*gasp*) gone!  I searched around high and low for the culprit, but alas... No one was to be found.

I walked back downstairs and proceeded to tell my study group about the nasty rat that had taken my dinner out of my bag in the refrigerator and eaten half of my lunch (like I wouldn't notice).

What a scumbag...

So after I left school, I called my mom.  I was going on and on about this dirty, nasty, shabby, filthy, disgusting creature that took HALF of my lunch (not even all of it, like they started eating it and determined it was gross and stopped eating it...  And I know for a fact that it was not gross because I made it myself with tomato juice that my mama canned...).

Then my mom, ever so quietly asks...  "That wouldn't be the container that I ate half of the other night for dinner, would it?"

Ummm...  WHAT???

That's right, folks.  I had stayed at my mom and dad's house on Sunday night because John was gone to one of the Carolinas for some training something or other.  She was making fried chicken legs for supper, and we don't eat fried chicken legs.  So I brought some leftover macaroni and tomato for us to eat.  But apparently, she got the container out of the bag I was bringing to school for Monday and Tuesday's lunch and dinner instead of eating out of the container I had brought specifically for her.

The moral of this story is...  When you are calling someone a good-for-nothing, low down, dirty, trashy, filthy, nasty, terrible, horrible, no good, very bad, shabby, disgusting scumbag...  You had probably better check and make sure that it isn't your mom.

Thankful Thursday

Yeah, yeah, I've skipped a few Thursdays...

And today is technically not Thursday, but I wasn't sure that I could post this yesterday.  So although I wrote this yesterday, I was waiting for her to make the official announcement to post it!

Today, I am thankful for my friend Lauren Fox!  (Now that you've made it into my blog, we can be friends forever and ever!!!)

Here is my story about Lauren...

Lauren and I met on maybe the second day of orientation for medical school.  Since my rebel husband was with me on the first day, we had to sit in the back.  So the next day when it was just little ol' me, I was free to move to the front of the room like a good student attentive student slacker that wants to look like she's paying attention good student.  Lauren was sitting at the front of the room.

And then I said, "Hey, I don't know anybody.  You look pretty cool.  Wanna be study buddies??"  Or something like that.

So started our friendship.  And over the years, it has blossomed into a great friendship.

Okay, so I've only known her for one year.  But true story...

One of the first days of class, a professor stood up (I think it was Dr. Teitelbaum) and told us we would meet our best friends in medical school.  I rolled my eyes and said, "Yeah right.  I already have my best friends.  I don't need new ones."

Wrong.

Anyway...  Lauren and I started studying together...  Watching TV shows together (Hart of Dixie, anyone?)...  Having sleepovers before tests...  Eating cookie dough and drinking Diet Sunkist after tests...  And the list goes on.

So why, you might ask, am I thankful for her today?  Because today I received this in a text message:

YAY!!!!!  That's right, folks.  Lauren is officially engaged to the man of her dreams, Erik.  I have met him, and I approve.

So not only does she have a GORGEOUS ring, he apparently proposed in Spain next to a big, beautiful fountain (anyone else a little jealous?????).

Oh, and he's from Norway.  Just as a side note, when I told my mother this, she proceeded to tell me that when she thought of a guy from Norway, she imagined a big hunky man with blonde hair and blue eyes...

I think she was thinking of this guy...

Yes, Chris Hemsworth...  aka THOR

You know, I can actually see the resemblance...

Anywho, I am thankful today for my sweet friend Lauren (who has threatened me several times with ending our friendship if she didn't make it into my blog--she just didn't know I was saving up for something big!) and her engagement!!  CONGRATULATIONS (and let's start Pinteresting)!!!!!